"The Sinister Schoolhouse Scandal" by Cheri Maxson

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"The Sinister Schoolhouse Scandal"
or
"He Weren't the Teacher's Pet"

by Cheri Maxson

Synopsis
This story takes place in the sleepy little town of Shingleville, Pennsylvania. Shingleville is a beautiful little hamlet nestled in the foothills of the Allegheny Mountains. Such a quiet town…or is it ???

The tale begins with the mysterious disappearance of the town’s Mayor – Avery Niceman. About the same time as the Mayor mysteriously disappears, "Sir" Percival Pernicious appears at the schoolhouse with deed in hand for the school, allegedly signed by the Mayor, and orders the schoolmarm and students off the premises. Pernicious intends to convert the school into his gambling parlor and saloon with glamorous dancing girls.

The sheriff suspects a stranger, Pernicious, of several dastardly deeds – kidnapping the Mayor, attempting to acquire the schoolhouse by forgery, and worst of all, horning in on the sheriff’s sweetheart!

Watch as our erstwhile heroes race to the rescue! Full of drama and various twists and turns, this melodrama is chock full of hokey entertainment that will be a memorable experience for the whole family!

CAST LIST

This play was written specifically for a largely male cast. 13 Males - 6 Females - 2 Eithers.

Sheriff Will Dew
       Hero - sweet, in love with Ida Claire Yawl

Ida Claire Yawl
       Heroine - lovely schoolteacher, loves Will

Deputy Al Beback
       Hero’s Sidekick – think Arnold Schwarzenegger

Sir Percival Pernicious
       Villain – very greedy, pseudo British, wants Ida

Avery Niceman
       Town Mayor - dotty old man, clueless, has no idea
           what he’s done to the town

Ma Witt
       New General Store Owners/Family - sharp and in charge

Pa Witt
       Funny, full of puns

Dimm Witt
       Ma and Pa Witt's son - farmboy, the goofy one

Nytt Witt
       Ma and Pa Witt's son – farmboy, the smart one

Haff Witt
       Ma and Pa Witt's son – farmboy, the tough one

Edinia Clouds
       Student - seemingly clueless young lady, nose in a book, but falls
           for Nytt

Beau Vine
       Student - son of local dairy farmer, funny; distant cousin of Dee
           Vine

Hal E. Luya
       Student - son of the town’s preacher, a bit stuck up

Klaus Shave
       Student - son of the town barber, a smart aleck

Drew Mohr-Blood
       Student - son of town doctor, spoiled rotten

Des Buratto
       Student - new student, really is the villain’s sidekick

Dee Frawd
       Dance Hall Girl - mean-girl leader of the group, wants Percy,
hates Ida a lot!
Dee Vine
       Dance Hall Girl – falls in love with Al Beback, ends up helping the
           good guys; distant cousin of Beau Vine

Dee Zaster
       Dance Hall Girl - young, clumsy, klutzy, and bubble-headed,
   ends up in love with Dimm

Narrator/Emcee
       Needs to be a bit charismatic and energetic.

Sign Walker
       Walks across stage holding vintage scene set signs

  THE SETTING

The late 1880’s, fall in Pennsylvania. There are two sets; (1) The Shingleville
Schoolhouse and (2) The General Store Exterior.

PLACES & LARGE PROPS

The Shingleville Schoolhouse
Wooden benches for students to sit on, a wooden teacher’s desk, a chalk board, some books on shelves.

The General Store Exterior
Railing or counter (could be back of bookshelves), barrels/baskets of fall produce; couple bolts of cloth, other vintage store props.

RUN TIME

Approx. 95 minutes - not including intermission.