"The Proud and Haughty Beauty" by John Donald O'Shea

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Alleman Catholic High School Slide Show

The photos below are used with gracious permission of the Alleman Catholic School Drama Department. Their production was December, 11, 13, and 14, 2014.

Excerpt from
"The Proud and Haughty Beauty."

Whiplash. How do I love you? Let me count the ways. I love you with a puissant passion, that sets my palpitating heart profoundly pounding and/or pulsating. (His voice trails off) Or something like that!

Nell. Huh? (She breaks, and crosses down to address audience) His simple eloquence transports me to ecstasy, ... although I'm not quit sure what he's saying. (To Wiley) Does that mean that you still want to marry me?

Whiplash. (He crosses down to her on his knees) Yes, yes, yes, my darling. With all my heart.

Nell. (She takes him by the hands and raises him) Then, dearest. I accept. I will be proud to be the wife of the most reformed man in River Junction, Iowa.

Whiplash. Nell, darling. You have made me the happiest man alive. (To audience) See how easy it is? (To Nell) And now Nell there's something else. I have found the perfect home for us. I know you'll love it as much as I do. Will you come to town with me and look at it ... today?

Nell. (She is taken aback) A house?

Whiplash. Yes, my love. (He crosses down stage left to paint a picture for the audience) A cottage with green shutters and morning glories twining round the door.

Nell. (Nell rushes to him and takes his hand) Oh Wiley, it sounds wonderful. Yes, let's do it. (As if dancing, they do a half turn)

Nora. (Entering, but not noticing) 'morning, Nell. (Finally noticing) Nell, what's he doing here? "Yes, let's do what?" What's going on?

Whiplash. (Wiley’s back is to Nora; he turns to explain) I have asked Nell to be my bride. She has accepted.

Nora. Ohhh! (She faints, collapsing on floor)

Nell. (Nell rushes to Nora and, goes to her knees. She raises Nora’s head to her lap, so Nora is facing front) Auntie, Auntie! Are you all right, can you hear me?

Nora. (Slowly coming to) Ohhhh! Ohhh! I'll be all right. Nell, tell me, you're not really going to marry that blackguard?

Nell. Oh, how cruel of me. I have been thinking only of my own happiness. (To Wiley) If I were to marry you, what would become of dear Aunt Nora?

Whiplash. (To Nell) For the near future, she'll need care in the finest nursing home we can find. (He turns away and walks down stage left and delivers line to audience) After she convalesces, I know a lovely senior assisted living facility where she could live in Florida. (He turns back to Nell) It's situated on a charming knoll overlooking a malarial swamp. She could sit out in a lawn chair every day, and watch the alligators bask in the sun. (To audience) I'm told that the little reptiles often become quite attached to the residents.

Nora. (Recovering quickly, rising to feet and taking a step or two toward Wiley. Nell counters R) You're not going to ship me off to a malarial swamp to be eaten by alligators!

Nell (Trying to calm Nora) Dear auntie, you misjudge dear Wiley. I'm sure he had no such intention.

Whiplash. (Like a Boy Scout) The thought never crossed my mind. (To audience) You believe me, don't you? (Stage manager crosses with“Hiss” sign)

   “The Proud and Haughty Beauty”

                                                 Synopsis

    Because her family business has fallen upon hard time, Nell Pureheart finds herself unable to make even a partial mortgage payment on her farm and home. She asks forbearance from Wiley Whiplash, whose Savings and Loan holds her mortgage.

    Wiley, however has his own problems. He has invested his Savings and Loan’s depositors’ moneys in oil wells in Texas, and has lost his investments.

    Wiley, however, has learned that Nell’s farm and her house sits atop a pool of oil.

    To recoup his fortunes, Wiley must get his hands on the oil under Nell’s farm. He, therefore, schemes to marry Nell.

Because Nell is without guile, she cannot imagine that Wiley would take
advantage of her. Her Aunt Nora, however, is under no such illusions.

    Nora places all hope in the return of Casey Cleandeed, Nell’s childhood
sweetheart, who has just graduated from Law School.

   As Wiley plots and plans to get Nell and her farm, Nora and Casey mount a counter- offensive.


    “The Proud and Haughty Beauty”
        Cast of Characters in Order of Appearance

      (2 Men & 2 Women. Stage Manager may be either)

Nell Pureheart                                                 The Heroine

Aunt Nora                                                         Nell’s Wise old Auntie

Wiley Whiplash                                             The Villain, and evil doer

Casey Cleandeed                                              The Hero and a Lawyer

Stage Manager                                                 The Stage Hand (no lines)

        The Play takes Place in the Spacious Kitchen of Nell’s Home.

        The play runs 40 minutes without music; 60 with music.

                 LIST OF MUSICAL NUMBERS

                                                           Act I

“Just A-wearyin’ for You”                                         Nell
    Carrie Jacobs-Bond (1901)

“When You Were Sweet Sixteen”                           Whiplash
    James Thornton (1898)

“A Bird in a Gilded Cage”                                         Aunt Nora
    Music byHarry Von Tilzer (1900)
    Words by Arthur J. Lamb

“At Dawning”                                                             Casey
    Charles Wakefield Cadman (1906)

The Bank Played On"                                               Ensemble
    Music by Charles B. Ward (1895)
    Words by John F. Palmer

                                               Act II

“A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody,”                            Whiplash
    Irving Berlin (1916)

"Pretty Baby”                                                             Whiplash
    Music by Tony Jackson & Egbert Van Alstyne (1916)
    Words by Gus Kahn

“Wait Till the Sun Shines Nellie”                           Casey
    Music byHarry Von Tilzer (1905)
    Words by Andrew B. Sterling


“I Love You Truly”                                                     Nell
    Carrie Jacobs-Bond (1906)

“She Is More to be Pitied, than Censured,”        Aunt Nora
    Wm. B. Gray (1898)


                   Act III

“Good Morning, Carrie”                                          Whiplash
    Music by Smith and Bowman (1901)
    Words by R. C. McPherson

Reprise: “I Love You Truly”                                   Nell
    Carrie Jacobs-Bond (1906)

“When You Were Sweet Sixteen”                          Casey
    James Thornton (1898)

Reprise: “The Band Played On”                            Ensemble
    Music by Charles B. Ward (1895)
    Words by John F. Palmer

                                          Don’s Other Plays

    Free previews of all of Don’s plays are available at his web site: http://www.osheasplays.com/

Don’s plays with other publishers can also be previewed as well as purchased at their websites:
Theatrefolk                                https://www.theatrefolk.com/
Big Dog Plays                                    http://www.bigdogplays.com/
Brooklyn Publishers                        https://www.brookpub.com/
Norman Maine Plays                     http://www.normanmaineplays.com/
Drama Source                                     http://www.dramasource.com/
Pioneer Drama Service                     http://www.pioneerdrama.com