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THE GOLFER’S WIDOW
SYNOPSIS Mary Christopher, the wife of John Christopher, the Club Champion at Tam O’Shanter Country Club, has bludgeoned her husband to death with his own five-iron. To all who knew them, with perhaps one exception, the Christophers were a “perfect couple.” So what could cause an “ideal wife” to inexplicably beat her lawyer husband to death with his own five-iron? And what could possibly justify her conduct? Is this a case of murder, justifiable homicide, or something else? CAST LIST (Six men and three women. The two policemen, the Judge and the bailiff could be women. Running time: 30 - 35 minutes.) Lt. Murphy The Lead Investigator, Police Officer John Christopher The deceased. A dead body. (No lines) Erstwhile Club Champion of Tam O’Shanter Country Club, and late husband of Mary Christopher Mary Christopher Widow of John Christopher, accused of murdering her husband Harry Lt. Murphy’s partner Kate Smith Mary’s Friend and Defense Counsel Charlie MacDivot John Christopher’s faithful caddie Gloria Drivel The Prosecutor The Judge The presiding judge The Bailiff The judge’s bailiff Don’s Other Plays
Free previews of all of Don’s plays are available at his web site: http://www.osheasplays.com/ Don’s plays with other publishers can also be previewed as well as purchased at their websites: Theatrefolk https://www.theatrefolk.com/ Big Dog Plays http://www.bigdogplays.com/ Brooklyn Publishers https://www.brookpub.com/ Norman Maine Plays http://www.normanmaineplays.com/ Drama Source http://www.dramasource.com/ Pioneer Drama Service http://www.pioneerdrama.com | ||
An Excerpt from
"The Goldfer's Widow."
(The scene is in an interview room at the jail. There are two chairs; one is CR and the
other CL. A table separates them. Mary is waiting in the CL chair)
Kate. (Entering from SR) You’re the last person in the world I’d expect to find here.
Mary. Why’s that?
Kate. I always thought that you and John were ecstatically happy together.
Mary. Appearances can be deceiving.
Kate. (Sits in chair CR) Are you telling me that you actually did kill him?
Mary. Are you asking?
Kate. Yes.
Mary. Of course, I killed him!
Kate. Mary, I’m you lawyer. Are you actually telling me you murdered your husband?
Mary. No, I just told you, I killed him. I didn’t murder him. It was justifiable homicide.
Kate. (She rises and crosses DSR, thinking) Are you saying he attacked you and you
had to kill him in self defense.
Mary. Yes .. and no... And not exactly.
Kate. (She turns back to Mary) Then what exactly are you telling me?
Mary. I’m telling you, he deserved to be clobbered with a five-iron. That that I should
have done it years ago.
Kate. Was he an unfaithful husband?
Mary. Worse. He was a faithful golfer!
Kate. You killed a man for being a golfer?
Mary. A compulsive golfer.
Kate. But you knew that when you married him.
Mary. I knew he loved golf, but I thought he loved me, too.
Kate. (Crosses to and sits in CR chair) Didn’t he?
Mary. Looking back on it, I’m certain he loved golf. I not sure if he ever loved me.
Kate. Why do you say that?
Mary. Because of the little things he did. He couldn’t have loved me.
Kate. What little things? Give me an example. When did it begin?
Mary. It began on our wedding day. Dad escorted me down the aisle, and John
was standing at the altar waiting for me. I should have known something
was drastically wrong right then.
Kate. Why?
Mary. Because he was wearing golf shoes!
Kate. His golf shoes? With his tux? On the altar?
Mary. Precisely. (Rises and crosses DSL, delivering line to the Heavens) Who ever
heard of a groom wearing his golf shoes with his tux to a wedding?
Kate. Maybe he just forgot his dress shoes. Maybe he just put on the only shoes he
had with him?
Mary. (Turns to Kate) He didn’t forget! Charlie, his best man, was standing there with
his golf bag!
Kate. Did you ask what was going on?
Mary. Of course I did. (Crosses to Kate, and grabs her) I grabbed him just under his
bow tie and asked, “What are your golf clubs doing here?”
Kate. And.... ?
Mary. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”
Kate. So why did you marry him?
Mary. (Crosses L and delivers line to the heavens) That’s what I’ve been asking myself
ever since. (Turns to Kate) I should have grabbed his five-iron and killed him then and there!
Kate. I don’t understand?
Mary. There were two hundred witnesses who could have testified it was justifiable
homicide!
Kate. Why didn’t you.
Mary. Charlie was standing between me and the bag!
(Lights Down)
"The Goldfer's Widow."
(The scene is in an interview room at the jail. There are two chairs; one is CR and the
other CL. A table separates them. Mary is waiting in the CL chair)
Kate. (Entering from SR) You’re the last person in the world I’d expect to find here.
Mary. Why’s that?
Kate. I always thought that you and John were ecstatically happy together.
Mary. Appearances can be deceiving.
Kate. (Sits in chair CR) Are you telling me that you actually did kill him?
Mary. Are you asking?
Kate. Yes.
Mary. Of course, I killed him!
Kate. Mary, I’m you lawyer. Are you actually telling me you murdered your husband?
Mary. No, I just told you, I killed him. I didn’t murder him. It was justifiable homicide.
Kate. (She rises and crosses DSR, thinking) Are you saying he attacked you and you
had to kill him in self defense.
Mary. Yes .. and no... And not exactly.
Kate. (She turns back to Mary) Then what exactly are you telling me?
Mary. I’m telling you, he deserved to be clobbered with a five-iron. That that I should
have done it years ago.
Kate. Was he an unfaithful husband?
Mary. Worse. He was a faithful golfer!
Kate. You killed a man for being a golfer?
Mary. A compulsive golfer.
Kate. But you knew that when you married him.
Mary. I knew he loved golf, but I thought he loved me, too.
Kate. (Crosses to and sits in CR chair) Didn’t he?
Mary. Looking back on it, I’m certain he loved golf. I not sure if he ever loved me.
Kate. Why do you say that?
Mary. Because of the little things he did. He couldn’t have loved me.
Kate. What little things? Give me an example. When did it begin?
Mary. It began on our wedding day. Dad escorted me down the aisle, and John
was standing at the altar waiting for me. I should have known something
was drastically wrong right then.
Kate. Why?
Mary. Because he was wearing golf shoes!
Kate. His golf shoes? With his tux? On the altar?
Mary. Precisely. (Rises and crosses DSL, delivering line to the Heavens) Who ever
heard of a groom wearing his golf shoes with his tux to a wedding?
Kate. Maybe he just forgot his dress shoes. Maybe he just put on the only shoes he
had with him?
Mary. (Turns to Kate) He didn’t forget! Charlie, his best man, was standing there with
his golf bag!
Kate. Did you ask what was going on?
Mary. Of course I did. (Crosses to Kate, and grabs her) I grabbed him just under his
bow tie and asked, “What are your golf clubs doing here?”
Kate. And.... ?
Mary. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”
Kate. So why did you marry him?
Mary. (Crosses L and delivers line to the heavens) That’s what I’ve been asking myself
ever since. (Turns to Kate) I should have grabbed his five-iron and killed him then and there!
Kate. I don’t understand?
Mary. There were two hundred witnesses who could have testified it was justifiable
homicide!
Kate. Why didn’t you.
Mary. Charlie was standing between me and the bag!
(Lights Down)
